Madonna Adopts

October 25, 2006 at 9:30 pm Leave a comment

I’m sure I am not the first to post on this topic. Actually, I may be the last as this is almost old news by this point. Because of a canceled dentist appointment, I returned home early today and happen to turn on the TV and catch Oprah’s interview with Madonna on her recent adoption.

Granted, I missed most of the interview but I did catch enough at the end to trigger some thoughts on my part. Don’t get me wrong. I applaud Madonna and anyone else who wants to make a positive change in a child’s life. Accepting a child into your life is no easy decision or process for anyone, no matter who you are or how much money you may have. So, for that I am shouting, “HOORAY!” “Well done!” As my dad says, it is all about the child….or is it? It is about the parent, too.

Madonna was discussing the father’s supposed turn around in allowing the adoption and the possibility of the press pressuring such a “simple” man to make him think that he made a mistake. A couple thoughts on this:

She could be right. Constant pressure from others can certainly make you change your mind and make you think you’ve done something wrong. I would hate to be in the father’s position because I’m sure he must have truly thought he was doing the best for his child. However, the situation could also be similar to the mother who gives birth to a child that she has planned to have adopted. In many domestic adoptions, there is often a wait period before the adoption can become final. During this time the mother can reclaim her child if she changes her mind. Perhaps the father of Madonna’s adopted (actually in the process of being adopted) child experienced a change of heart.

I also wonder that if Madonna had gone through the adoption process that the typical adoptive parent goes though, would there be so much attention to this story? I know that my husband and I, prospective adoptive parents, had to take adoption classes, participate in a three month home study with a social worker, go through many security checks, get personal references and much more before I could even be considered by our adoption agency. THEN we needed to go through more checks and gather more paperwork when we decided on a particular country of adoption.

I am now waiting to be “logged in” by the CCAA (the China Center of Adoption Affairs). After the log in date, my husband and I will then start an additional wait of more than a year while our credentials are checked and double checked. Hopefully, we will be notified of their (the CCAA) acceptance of us as parents before 2008.

I’m happy for the child, but I’m frustrated that money and position allows the skipping of all of the security checks and personal studies that my husband and I have had to go through.
I understand that different countries have different requirements and from what I read in the excerpts of the interview, there really are no adoption laws in Malawi (so said). What about the 1.5 years that are suppose to be spent in the country before adoption? Wasn’t that said somewhere? Aren’t they circumventing some laws here?

I also ask: What are the laws in the U.K.? We had tons of interviews and background checks in our country before we could even look at another country? Who did the background checks and home studies on Madonna and her husband? Maybe I’m jealous…but it just doesn’t seem fair.

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Entry filed under: Kazakhstan Adoption. Tags: , , .

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